When you’re dating, you hope that all of your dates will go smoothly, with no awkward bumps or mismatches. But everybody who has ever dated knows that the reality is quite different. It’s inevitable that you’ll eventually end up on a date that is a bit of a bust. So what do you do if your date is a dud? How do you end it?
One of the biggest contradictions in modern dating is the issue of honesty. Everybody claims that they want their date to be honest with them and would prefer just to hear it if the other party isn’t interested, but almost nobody is willing to tolerate the discomfort of being the one to say to another person, “this isn’t working for me.” (Or some version thereof.)
But hemming and hawing, avoiding the issue, and making up excuses is just not fair to your date. Give them the respect of being straightforward and honest. If you feel like there’s no chemistry or chance at a future, or that you’re not having a good time, or that you’re feeling uncomfortable and would like to go home, just say so. Don’t leave them with the hope that there might be something there if there isn’t.
That being said, being honest is not an excuse to be rude or unkind. Whatever your message is, say it in a nice way. It’s like we all learned in kindergarten – treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people how you’d like to be talked to. Give them the courtesy of thanking them for their time, concisely explain how you feel, and wish them well.
Remember the person’s feelings and understand that it is better for everyone to be told the truth kindly in order to have them also move on.
Make It Short
You do not need to beat around the bush when it comes down to ending the date. Following the above tips, you just have to make sure that you don’t inadvertently give a sense of interest by dragging the date longer than it should.
For example, you can try some version of, “Hey, thank you for getting coffee with me. This isn’t exactly what I’m looking for, but it would be nice to stay friends. Take care, okay?” That’s it: simple, honest, to the point, and kind. That’s all it takes.
By following these three tips, you’ll feel more comfortable the next time you are in a situation where you have to end a date. If you’ve ever experienced this before, let us know, just send us a DM on our instagram page.