First dates hold so much potential. There’s the promise of no more lonely dinners, no more hugging the pillow at night, no more racking your brain for who to take to special events as your +1. The pressure is seriously on during that first meeting.
First impressions are unbelievably important. Most people make a decision about their first date in the first five minutes. That includes whether they see a future, a one-night stand or are frantically sending a message to a friend on standby to help them finish the date early.
It’s no wonder that men lose it during those critical moments. Before they know it, a sentence has escaped their lips that is a deal breaker. The date might stay for another few drinks or a free dinner, but emotionally, she’s signed out. No filter on the first date is a great way to guarantee you’ll be single for life.
So, if you can’t keep your jaw from sabotaging you on the first date, we’re here to spell it out. Here are the top 9 phrases that absolutely must be avoided during dating.
Don’t open the ex-files on the first date
“My ex was a psycho…”
You might think that knocking your ex down a few pegs on the first date might put you in favour with the new lady on the scene, but it’s just not so. If anything, she’s going to go down the feminist route and wonder about how you treated your ex, and if she’s going to be the next woman to suffer at your hand. Bringing up your ex on the first date is questionable, and speaking badly about them is a definite turn off. Leave the past in the past. Unless she asks directly, don’t speak about your ex until at least Date #3.
“My ex used to order that…”
Comparing a first date to your ex is going to stop them in their tracks. You might even notice their hands slip under the table so they can send that emergency text to their friend who is standing by to rescue them from this horrific first date. Mentioning a trait of your ex shows they’re still on your mind, and that you probably aren’t ready to be back on the dating scene if they’re all you can talk about. There’s no way a new girl can compete with a perfect memory, and she knows it.
Keep religion and politics off the agenda
“President Trump is an inspiration…”
Everyone knows that religion and politics are not topics of discussion that should be broached in polite company, so leave it off the agenda for the first date. Your political leanings or religious bias have no place during the initial seduction, and if your opinions clash, you can kiss your date goodbye if she even lets you that close after you put your foot in your mouth.
“You remind me of my mother…”
Though your mother may be the most important and influential woman in your life, your new squeeze doesn’t want to be compared to a 50+ woman. It makes you look like a mummy’s boy, and her brain will be working overtime during that first date wondering just how much influence that woman has on her precious son and if she’s going to have to compete for the rest of her life for your attention.
“My family is so weird…”
Everyone’s family is weird. That’s no secret, but try to keep it one on your first date. Tearing shreds off your family and airing their dirty laundry is no way to get a girl thinking of white picket fences and happily-ever-afters. Rather than give her the inside scoop into how great YOU are (that’s the point, right?), you’re just showing that you don’t care about the people you should be the closest to. More to the point, she’s going to jump right to the part where she says no to a diamond because your family is so weird.
Treat people the way you want to be treated
“Get me another beer, now…”
Everyone knows the way you treat wait staff in a restaurant is very telling. Being obviously rude, obtuse and belittling says more about you than their service style or establishment. Not only that, it gives a little preview into your true colours, and chances are your date doesn’t ever want to hear you demanding she brings you a beer like that. Ever. And believe us, she’s watching how much you tip too – especially on the first date.
It’s not all about money…
“My bank account is…”
Regardless of whether you finish that sentence with a positive or a negative amount, it’s seriously unattractive to bring up money on the first date. It’s already awkward enough doing the dollar dance when it comes time to pick up the cheque on the first date. It also suggests that your date is driven by money, and you’re either using it to attract her or to put her off. Either way, just don’t go there.
Me, myself and I…
“Me, me, me, me, me…”
Nerves can get the better of us all on first dates, but prep some questions beforehand so you don’t panic and spend the entire night talking about yourself. There’s nothing more boring than listening to a self-interested monologue of someone you just met. Make sure you set aside time to find about your date, after all, that’s the point of the meeting. It’s really not that hard. Ask questions, and listen to the answers.
Save the bed for last… Not the first date
“So… what are you into…?”
This isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but if you’re looking for long term love, asking a girl about her sexual kinks on the first date is a no go. Even worse: describing yours in detail before you’ve even found out where she grew up or what her first pet was. Save the intimate chat for down the track. Then again, if it’s a clear hookup situation, then you’ve got the green light from us to get into the pillow talk on your first date.