Eternal flirting without a goal: breadcrumbing

Ever heard of “breadcrumbing”? No? Don’t worry because we’re going to fill you in on what´s about and how you can deal with it.

Imagine the classic dating situation: Your crush writes you sweet messages every now and then, likes your posts on Facebook, Instagram and co, but something serious or concrete is ever on the cards. They’re never free to meet up or often cancel plans last minute. If that sounds familiar to you, you were “breadcrumbed”. Breadcrumbing means “spreading or leaving a trail bread crumbs” – your flirt will drop a “breadcrumb” such as a message or comment to keep you interested and hopeful but never enough communication to result in anything developing further. They make as little effort as possible but enough to give out hope that there might be a possibility of taking the relationship further. It is just flirting and flirting but without any goal.

But why do bread-crumbers do this? One reason is the desire for the so-called “ego-push” to increase self-confidence. Otherwise commonly singles who are newly out of a relationship are guilty of this behaviour. They plunge into dating but are not yet ready to get into a new and meaningful relationship so instead they will become a Bread-Crumber. Lastly, people who are in relationships already will sometimes do this – they aren’t breaking any loyalty with their partner but they want to flirt and play games.

For those victims of bread-crumbing who are really interested in the flirt it can turn out to be a complete waste of time and this is very frustrating. Feelings can grow and hopes of getting in a real relationship go hand in hand with canceled dates and disappointment.

To avoid being breadcrumbed and the resulting painful unrequited love we have some tips to share with you. Most importantly, not everything has to stay in instant messages and likes. Pick up your phone and ring your crush. Try and make a plan to meet face-to-face in a café or in a bar and get to know each other. If your crush avoids making plans or cancels at the last minute, these are the first warning signs. Although everyone deserves a second chance, be aware that if they never want to meet up then they aren’t serious about getting to know you properly and take your relationship further. Protect yourself from falling in love with someone who does not mean it to you from the start!

So if you’re not going to take things further with your crush for a while then it’s better to go separate ways. Don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t serious about you. You deserve more. And with so many other people out there you are yet to meet we know you will find someone else soon who is looking for that real connection.